If you want my bibliography

I always write bibliographies first! Here is my American Independent Cinema paper thus far.

Annie Hall. Dir. Woody Allen. Perf. Woody Allen, Diane Keaton. DVD. 1977.
Little Miss Sunshine. Dir. Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Faris. Perf. Abigail Breslin, Greg Kinnear, Steve Carell. DVD. 2006.
Lost in Translation. Dir. Sofia Coppola. Perf. Bill Murray, Scarlett Johansson. DVD. 2003.
Margot at the Wedding. Dir. Noah Baumbach. Perf. Nicole Kidman, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Jack Black. DVD. 2007.
Metropolitan. Dir. Whit Stillman. Perf. Carolyn Farina, Edward Clements, Chris Eigeman. DVD. 1990.
Mrs. Parker and the Vicious Circle. Dir. Alan Rudolph. Perf. Jennifer Jason Leigh, Campbell Scott, Matthew Broderick. DVD. 1994.
The Squid and the Whale. Dir. Noah Baumbach. Perf. Jeff Daniels, Laura Linney. DVD. 2005.

Take out "Little Miss Sunshine" and put me in Butler Media and I'd be a happy lad.

tattered wedding dress

I like the new iteration of the Clintons as Miss Havisham and Rich Uncle Pennybags [Scrooge McDuck?].

You must not know bout me

Walking through Columbus Circle today and leaving a voicemail for "business purposes," I was interrupted by a short woman wearing a purple suit and shiny pink matte lipstick.

"Are you in The Group?" she asked, as I recited my email address (dot d a d d...) and number into the phone. This was my first mistake!

She followed me as I paced towards 8th Avenue with a huge smile on her face. Had I reached out my right arm I would have hit her in the side. But she was so friendly-looking! Like Harriet Winslow of Family Matters, or a black Harriet Miers. I would have gently hit her, maybe.

I hung up. "Are you a Member?" I asked, a member of what.

"The Group!"

My eternal regret is that I just said no and watched her nod meaningfully and turn on her heel and scurry into a crowd of tourists. My obsession with cults has reached its natural terminus!

I am mainly writing this post so that when the Group picks me up in a black helicopter tonight, there will be a document of my life.

Sign O' The Times

So I got the last free New York Times in Lerner Hall at 8:45am. I would save it for posterity or something, but the front page was already pawed over and it got rained on all day in my tote bag. 

Also, my worst column yet ran in the Spec today, the one issue of the year everyone will read. Hurrah! (Previous, better, columns here).

Paperback writer / Secret masterpiece

Would I like to write a book-length album review? Well, yes I would!

If you want my autobiography

My fifth-grade-level book report to follow:

Anne Carson's Autobiography of Red was this break's reading (not counting the words I read of my truly dreadful film midterm while I was typing it. I wrote four pages on how independent film is for smart people! And praised Juno, I think!). It was nice! It fit in my blazer pocket. I think I will bring it with me to Scotland. It's all about a boy who is also a red dragon and his love affair with a - I think the book jacket calls him a "mysterious drifter." Those parts were very sad. As the dragon, named Geryon because why not?, eats a sandwich he thinks:

"I am a philosopher of sandwiches, he decided. Things good on the inside. He would like to discuss this with someone."

Also contains lots of meditations on temporality, lots of cigarettes as signifiers of ineffectuality, a truly sad trip to a volcano and a more ambivalent one. I recommend it. (And I hate poetry.)

Paris and Nicole are friends again

My restarting this business is the internet equivalent of Scarlett Johansson looking at Justin Timberlake in the video for "What Goes Around Comes Around" (Nick Cassavetes, 2006) and saying "I'm so boooored." Also, two Hefeweizens and half a Whit Stillman movie on a Sunday night.

Join me, won't you?